When I fly I like to sit at the back of the airplane. It’s loud back there next to the rear engines but the sound is soothing to me. I put my books and water bottle in the back pocket of the seat in front of me, and make sure there’s a barf bag there. I’ve never gotten sick on a plane but I have a fear of vomiting, which then creates a scene where everyone starts barfing around me. We take off and the flight smooths out. I take a few more deep breaths and close my eyes to get some rest. Just then the pilot announces over the PA system, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we may experience some turbulence so I’m going to ask that you keep your seatbelts fastened”. Most of the time it’s not that bad, like taking a country drive on a dirt road. It gives us something to talk about after we land. I often say, “nice flight, a little bumpy”. I wish I could say this to describe the past two weeks of political mayhem. I may actually need the barf bag after all.
If I had a choice I would rather be attacked by a swarm of angry hornets than endure four more years of political insanity. Then I remembered I already experienced situations like this. In my previous post I mentioned that I spent 23 years working for the Federal Bureau of Prisons. It helped me develop some tactics to get through rough times.
When I first started working for the BOP I was assigned a mentor, Steve. During our first conversation he said, “you’ve got to have a good sense of humor to survive this place”. It took a couple years for his advice to sink in. I discovered the most common response to most situations was, “you’ve got to be joking”. I believe the root cause of government turbulence is from hilariously inept and unqualified management. Not all, but there were enough to create material for several comic books. Inmates did create stress occasionally, but most of it came from the government circus. Managers prefer obedient and loyal subordinates. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s nice to have people working for you who you can trust. However, I found many to be henchmen who were ignorant or turned a blind eye to policy, regulations and the law. This was especially noticeable in the hiring process. Nepotism runs deep in the veins of government.
Before I go any further I want to say there are a lot of good people working in the government doing honorable things. Some people call them idealists. They were my mentors. But there were enough bad apples to stink up the place. If I try to find some gratitude for these people I would say they prepared me for what is happening today. I learned that when you feel powerless it feels good to speak the truth, whether it’s told straight or in a humorous way. Plus, I’m not the kind of person who can witness unethical behavior and not say anything. But, this is a problem if your goal is to move up the company ladder. Sure enough, I was cast as a troublemaker who they said, “couldn’t think outside the box.” In the government that just means you have integrity, so whatever. I love the phrase, “they tried to bury me but they didn’t know I was a seed”. I wasn’t going to get any promotions or awards so I decided to fine tune my editorial writing skills. I did what any writer would do. I observed daily events and sent out my honest opinion to my coworkers. I recall one short email describing a sketchy staff promotion. During my career most of the management in my department were white males and Navy veterans. There’s nothing wrong with Navy veterans. My dad was a Marine Corp officer. It just seemed weird that it was a requirement for promotion. So, when my coworker was not selected for a management position I announced, “Ms. H was not selected for the General Foreman position. Unfortunately, she isn’t male and never retired from the Navy”. Like I said earlier, speaking truth to power will not get you promoted, but it will make you famous in the lower ranks. I became David fighting the Goliaths. There were never any reprimands sent my way because it would have required an investigation. It would have brought the truth into the light and nobody wanted that. There was one instance when my comments were investigated. It was caused by my response to an email from HR. The email asked staff to please submit nominations for supervisor of the year. I replied, “we usually don’t submit our nomination until after our supervisor gets his award”. Little did I know that the HR department was getting audited at the time. The auditors read my comment and started an investigation. I would’ve been in big trouble if it wasn’t true. I always thought it was laughable that we had to write nomination letters after the fact. It was a repeated flagrant foul and the referees were the ones committing the penalties. After the investigation the HR department received a slap on the wrist. I’m a fan of the quote by Mark Twain, “It’s better to deserve praise and not get it than to get it and not deserve it.” There was no shame in their game. That was just standard practice.
The Felon isn’t the first one to lie or deny. Many government managers are as slippery as a seal. I used to warn new hires about unscrupulous ones. I would simply say that you had to use the George Costanza philosophy as a guide. The Costanza philosophy was the notion that if everything he did was wrong then the opposite must be right. If you’re looking for the righteous path in life just observe the Felon. Whatever he does or says, do or say the opposite and you’ll be on the right track.
Some would argue that I acted like a fool during my career, but it was all I could do to maintain my sanity. I don’t recommend saying foolish things at work. The only way it’s possible is if you study codes, policy, regulations and the law, which I did. Knowledge is power. I used my knowledge to stand up for others. I know there are many idealists working for the government doing the same thing. We need more of them. The purge will not drive them all out. If anything it will create more. I have faith that people will do what is right to save the government and our democracy.
The Heron 